Watched
Sometimes I feel so purposeless. Is that too honest? Right now, I work long hours for a tree service. That is essentially my life right now. And I've asked God a few times 'why this?', 'what is my purpose, here?' Other than to save up money, of course. I've started wanting more from it. But it's hard, it's not exactly like I can befriend all the guys, or be super intentional. But I can be intentional in my actions and words. And I would like to believe that there is a God-given purpose to all this. Sometimes I do feel like I've been given the lead role in some comedy. They all know who I am, and I know I'm constantly watched. Whether it's my ability to do things that surprise them, or my inability to do other things that annoys them, it's all out there.
And I want to be all out there. This week I've started praying each day, Jesus what am I supposed to do today? And it's simple little things. Like have a good attitude. Loosen up. What's crazy? They notice. In no way to brag, but the day I tried to put more effort into being positive, and it happened to be a pretty long, wet, cold day. And at the end of it all, I got thanks from the crew lead. Loosen up? I'm still trying to figure this one out, maybe Jesus was just using His sense of humor yet again, but I had more opportunities to laugh and joke with part of the crew than ever before. And maybe, just maybe, they were watching. That amongst mentioning that they've never heard me cuss, that maybe they could see I can still have fun? Is that important? I don't know.
But Friends, you have a world watching you, probably in the most unexpected time and moments. Probably when you feel like why this. Like my comedy of being the girl amongst the guys, it never fails, the guys watch, the customers make comments, and I'm always the one they talk to. That maybe this is how I should be treating all of life. Like I'm constantly being watched. Not to be self-conscious, but to be intentional. And maybe I never want to stop asking Jesus what He has for today, what He has for me today. And to take enjoyment in doing it, never knowing what may come of it. Maybe we have a world that is watching and has the wrong view of what Jesus is really like and we're supposed to show them.
...I'm out to learn all the lessons I can from all this. Perseverance and humility are probably amongst the others....
And I want to be all out there. This week I've started praying each day, Jesus what am I supposed to do today? And it's simple little things. Like have a good attitude. Loosen up. What's crazy? They notice. In no way to brag, but the day I tried to put more effort into being positive, and it happened to be a pretty long, wet, cold day. And at the end of it all, I got thanks from the crew lead. Loosen up? I'm still trying to figure this one out, maybe Jesus was just using His sense of humor yet again, but I had more opportunities to laugh and joke with part of the crew than ever before. And maybe, just maybe, they were watching. That amongst mentioning that they've never heard me cuss, that maybe they could see I can still have fun? Is that important? I don't know.
But Friends, you have a world watching you, probably in the most unexpected time and moments. Probably when you feel like why this. Like my comedy of being the girl amongst the guys, it never fails, the guys watch, the customers make comments, and I'm always the one they talk to. That maybe this is how I should be treating all of life. Like I'm constantly being watched. Not to be self-conscious, but to be intentional. And maybe I never want to stop asking Jesus what He has for today, what He has for me today. And to take enjoyment in doing it, never knowing what may come of it. Maybe we have a world that is watching and has the wrong view of what Jesus is really like and we're supposed to show them.
...I'm out to learn all the lessons I can from all this. Perseverance and humility are probably amongst the others....
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