The Gift of Time.

Time, time is a glorious thing. This summer, God is showing me the gift of time. He's been teaching me it's ok not to be busy. Without really realizing it, I had this mindset of what can I do for God, instead of what can I do with God. There's a difference. And when you base your faith, your productivity, maybe even your identity to some extent on doing, being busy, the coming and going, you miss out. This summer has only just begun, yet I can see it's going to be the greatest gift and yet possibly the greatest frustration too. Having time is a glorious thing! This week I've woken up rested, ready to take on the day(without coffee), and felt fully alive. I've spent many a day this school year-oh ya! I'm forever finished with my formal education- just living to sleep, all I wanted each day was sleep. And now, I get to go to bed with the sun and wake up with the sun. I get to spend time with Jesus, some much needed time. I get to read books. I get to see girls, I get to decorate my house( I really don't know when I came to a point in life where this was a thing, when did this happen?)! Time has been one of the biggest blessings. Yet, because of the choices I've made, I know it's going to be a summer of faith-stretching, yet again, in very different ways. I need to continue to let my heart trust that Jesus is enough, in every way. I get to see Him continue to provide, to show up, to live in the present, and practice His presence. Because when we slow down, we get the opportunity to walk with Him, talk with Him, live with Him, and live life with others. I'm living life with Jesus. And I want to always be this excited about it.

Yet, there's frustration. God, I know you're teaching me it's okay not to be busy, but do I say no to things, unless I think I should say yes? Or have I learned the lesson already and can be busy again? Or how about....I've been thinking lots about giving up what is good for what is best. There are many a good things that I could do, but if there not the best, not what He has for right now, I don't need to be doing them. He's got lots of great things coming, I can tell, and I'm confused about a good number of things too. I have to continually give Him my anxious thoughts because they continue to multiply. I'm learning to listen, or at least attempting to do so. I'm not so sure how good I am at that. God is infinitely good. And His hands hold my tomorrow. I don't want to waste this time He's given me. I don't want to use this precious time watching movies, or on facebook, or lounging in my sweats all day. As I've changed out the words on my bathroom mirror, I want my life to reflect them as well: "Refuse to waste our lives, for You're our joy and prize." Since I have this blessed time, I've started playing piano again, something I've had to kind of give up, and now all I want do is play one song over and over again. I want those words to ring out through my house, my heart. "You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship thee." My heart's desire. Thank you for this gift of time.