Relinquish.

When you thought you had given it all up before, shouldn't it get easier, not harder? 

It's a one line prayer I've said to Jesus multiple times in the last little while. "I relinquish my hold." I relinquish my grasp, the things I'm holding so tight to. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't want to. I thought it was something that I would only have to say once. That I could let go, that that would be it. But that's just it. Sometimes we have to keep letting go. As my Stunning friend so perfectly put it, "If only your dreams just disappeared when you said yes to Jesus dreams. Instead it's a daily no to them and yes to Him." Those little dreams, maybe just the things that you thought would happen? The areas that are deep, that you desperately want, or don't want to see slip away? We have to get to give those up. It's scary, it's hard, and there are thoughts of is this really worth it?  But we won't know the elaborate plan, we won't see the exquisite dreams of God's heart take place if we don't. It's His, in place of mine. It's a trading of my will for His. 

But what about the desires of your heart that He promises? I've wondered the same. What if my desires become His? So it's really His desires for me that I get. That makes me so incredibly touched and content. I get to experience my Creator's heart and desires for me take place because I let go; when I say You are all I've got, instead of this is all You can have, extraordinary things can take place. I'm thinking crazy, scary Jesus thoughts, because I have everything to lose and everything to gain. I want to live a life of purpose, I want to be molded by His heart, I don't want to not live for something ridiculously small when I can reach for all that He's got to offer. It might be a slow transformation, but He is doing it. He is at work. 

Keeping on, relinquishing my hold, 

hannaH