Yes: captivated and discovering the wildness of Jesus' heart

Boy howdy. You know that phrase that goes something along the lines of 'being bigger than your wildest dreams'? That's the business that Jesus is in. That's what Jesus is showing me in this year of dreams. Not only does He want to do some crazy and wild things in us and through us, but He so desires to do so in a way that is so much bigger and grander than the rather small dreams we possess. He wants to take our desires and shape them into something so unbelievable and inexplicably all from Him. He gave us those desires in the first place, He's just waiting to take it and run with them. 

This quote I read recently I feel encompasses where I'm at right now with Jesus:

" It actually takes more trust in God to step back from our understanding of Him so that He may explain Himself." 

I'm in the process of giving over my rather small understanding of who I think Jesus is. I want to hand that over and am asking Jesus to show me who He is. I truly want to know who He is, who He says He is. Who He is, what He wants to do, what He's about. I don't want to just know about Him, He can't be explained in ideologies, or with logic. But He is living, a person, and as such I can make my life about a relationship with a person. Accepting Him as He is offered. And I believe I've held Him back, and in so doing have held myself back from all that He has to offer. The life that He's willing to live out day to day, with me. And that's what my life can be about, because that's what He's about. Jesus is crazy good and just does stuff. He's not normal, and my life doesn't have to be either. Well, He's already told me it won't be.

As I discover more of who He is and the stuff He's about, I am more and more captivated by the wildness of His heart. He wants grand adventure and freedom to take place just as much as I do, no, more so. I am captivated by who He is, because I'm discovering not who I think He is, but I'm getting to see Him for who He really is. I want to be open to the wooing, to see His passion, what I would give to see His contagious smile, to hear His laugh. And all of this? Because of this, I want to say yes. I desire to yes. I want my life to also be about saying yes to Jesus. I want to everyday say yes to Him. To His brilliant ideas and plans. Because seriously guys, He is brilliant. The things He asks of me will almost certainly be rather stretching, overwhelming, and leave me asking, "what?". Because His plans make you stop and press rewind question, is that really what He just said? But I can tell you, there is no greater joy than saying yes. YES! To all His crazy, and wild, and oh-so-good brilliant ideas. This week He's left me crying, followed by unstoppable belly laughter. Because He's just that good.

To fully be able to say yes, I've discovered that I need to be able to see all that I have as His. And you're now quizzically looking at me with that head tilted expression. I know what you're thinking. Shouldn't you have already seen that?  And yes, I thought I had. But I was wrong. I had seen it like, sure Jesus I'll do anything with my life, my stuff, that you ask me to. Can you hear the loud buzzer going off? Yep. That's not quite what it aught to be. Instead, I want all that I have to actually be His. Because then when He asks of it, I can say my wholehearted yes, because of course he would want to do that with His time, His resources, His money. And you know what's really cool? Let this hit home. Now instead of me getting to do something because Jesus told me to, now we get to do it together. Jesus and I get to go and do that thing. Because if everything is already His anyway, I just simply get to join in on what He wants to do, how great it that??! He asks me to join Him.

Friend, be captivated, ask Him to show you who He is. And please, I pray, that you discover how wild Jesus' heart is- for you and the kind of adventures He's waiting to take you on as you say your yes to Him.

I'm over here checking off my rather small dreams written with pen on paper, and seeing them one by one come about in ways bigger and larger than I would have ever imagined. Beyond my wildest dreams, because those same dreams are written on His heart. Learning yes. 
Dreaming on, enjoying Him, hannaH