Let Me Be Single

This isn't meant to be that despairing , self-pitying, single girl post.

That no one actually wants to read.
It is a single girl post though. Because I'm single. And a girl.
For a little over a month there's a darn country song that won't leave my mind (okay it's decent, I just wish it was a different one).

"If I never get to see the Northern lights
Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night"

....And I think to myself that I've been extraordinarily blessed to have seen both those things! And walked across the London bridge. And have felt warmth from Lava. And have sat on the coastline of Ireland. And have walked on glaciers and glimpsed ice flows. 

"Oh if all I got is your hand in my hand

Baby I could die a happy man"


This is sweet and kind and a decent message. Which I actually applaud in this day's music culture. 

Except that I can live a happy life.

And die a happy woman.
I have never been more ready to die, actually. 

If I was to die without all this, it'd be okay. 

It's a bonus for sure. 

And I wouldn't mind all of it.
And to think that I might just get all of it is exciting. 

But please, let me be single.

You see, I'm all about identity. And being known as I really am. But single doesn't belong there.
In every 'about' section of social media it's one of the first few things that you have the option fill in: relationship status. And I never have. Not that I care that people know that I'm single or not (and you better believe I'll be the proudest wife around, because my man is gonna be an incredible man of God who lives making His love known....), but it's more about the reason behind it. Singleness doesn't define me. And I'd prefer if it wasn't something that meant that big of a deal to you either. I don't mind getting asked from those of you who are genuinely curious or interested about my potential suitors or attachments, and as a girl, I like to know about yours too. It's a part of life, and it's a special part of life.

What I don't necessarily understand is that many upon finding out about my current relationship status show or have pity for me, offer many suggestions how to fix said status, as if it were a predicament that I have found myself in and need to get out of. Last I heard, singleness isn't a disease. And that might seem like I'm being a bit dramatic. And I am. But I really am content to be as I am meant to be. And in all areas of life, I know that God has nothing but the absolute best for me. So it's this or someday something better. I'm not meant to wait without reason to wait.

The lame part is that sometimes after having these discussions, I don't feel better about myself. I think today I've lain my finger upon it. It's because a word has been tacked onto my identity that doesn't deserve to be there. I am no different if I am single or apart of a duo. Or definitely shouldn't be. And I don't need pity. I'm not saying that many of you have done this, but occasionally I definitely have heard conversations revolving around some unsuspecting poor soul that is suddenly stuck in this circle.
"Girl, you know that sometimes men just don't know a good thing when they see it."
"There's still hope for you, you're still so young."
"Have you tried eharmony?"

For serious? But it's no joke. I've heard all these things, personally.
It's not that I need you to affirm my independence, that actually is a struggle for me too, so don't encourage it. But I feel like there may be better ways to proceed with that conversation. Because I really don't mind having it, because it's not something I'm concerned about, it's just that there are actually ways to encourage me where I'm at, here, now.
Like first letting me be single.
Maybe telling me how your single years were impactful.
Or it would make my day if you prayed for my future husband. PLEASE do that.
I really love having dinner with married couples, it's actually one of my favorite things.
I have a lot going on in my life right now, and none of that is on hold waiting for a status change(yes, some things could be more, and there are dreams tied to that, but nothing less). You've all heard at least thirty girls write about how life doesn't begin when you're married, mostly to prove to themselves that it doesn't, so I won't even try that route.

As I talked with one of my best friends today about singleness, both of us wanted to be more aware of how someday, when we're no longer in this particular stage in life, we can encourage other single people; how to have uplifting conversations that, yes, probably involve at least an initial question questioning their singleness, but go beyond that. And I probably need to first let them be single and find out where they're at in life, instead of first trying to change it.

And to any of you who were curious enough to read all this, I'll still love you if you make some comment that I think funny or unnecessary. Go right ahead! :) Yes, you can still ask me if I'm still single. This wasn't intended to offend you or create awkwardness. But you unattached folk, keep living the life intended just for you. I got a feeling that your story is gonna be beyond what you could have possibly thought up. My dream is that it'll be one to tell many a girl. Keep looking for nothing but the best. Single on! Okay. that got cheesy real quick.