Midwifing and Discipling
I was describing to someone recently what my life has been like since attending births. It's exciting and beautiful...and kinda tiring, inconvenient, and interrupts other parts of my time and life...and I quote, the response, "Isn't being a midwife like being a disciple? Following God's voice! Interrupting our daily to talk or share with His people?" The more I think about it, the more it seems applicable. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be intentional, what it looks like to really be a disciple- following Jesus. I don't always enjoy getting called in the deepest part of my circadian rhythm to head into the birth center on a moment's notice. Sometimes labor is long, sometimes I have to give up plans that I had. But this is what I've chosen to do. In the end, it's all worth it, I know it will be.
Sometimes I wish I was better at being intentional. With the person in front of me.Thinking less about me, more about them. Putting aside my wishes for my time and day. Loving. Having a conversation instead of being in a hurry. Letting interruptions occur, because they're far more important. Somehow I think there was more to Jesus' statement to "Come, follow me." It was an interruption to all that life used to be, but I think that it's something that we should daily listen for. Moment by moment. I get so caught up in my desire for sleep, or momentary fun, or it just not going with the plan, and I don't come. I don't follow. I think life with Jesus is supposed to be less about a one time commitment, and more about an every day re-committal.
And the great part is, the more I do it, the more it becomes normal. I get by with two and a half hours of sleep, and I sleep for 12 hours the next night. I expect it, and don't forget to take my phone off vibrate nearly as often. But I've also realized other things: this week I got to attend a friend's birth, not as a 'professional', not with a job to do, just to be there. And I loved it with everything I am. I got to hold a hand, I remembered to pray, emotionally connect. I didn't have to have a never-ending task list going through my mind or to analyze the situation. I got to be with woman(the meaning of midwife), and was reminded that this is what it's supposed to be. Not that those other things don't have a place, but they don't always have a place.
Sometimes we do things, and forget to actually connect. Sometimes we make things(or people) projects, and it becomes work, sometimes we forget how important just being there really is. Sometimes we forget to be with people or don't hear the call when Jesus says "come," I have something really important for us today. Sometimes it's like I've forgotten and fallen asleep with my life on vibrate. Or don't actually take much joy in the fact that He's calling, because I've got lost in my own priorities and have forgotten my commitments- that was my choice to make.
It's exciting to watch life come forth, and I want to be able to see life come forth from people's lives- that's just as exciting. But I won't get to be a part of that if I'm not intentional to get involved, be interrupted, lose some sleep, be a disciple that is listening to God's voice, or the voice of those He has smothered with grace and just need a little help.
On another note worth mentioning: Labor, like people, are always unique. Sometimes things don't go like you thought or hoped, and we need to be able to shift along with that. It's not our job to put them in a box. We need to be there when the plan changes, or when it takes more time than we thought, and our expectations can actually make us frustrated. Throw those out. Keep pressing on. Drink more coffee. Pray more. And don't be afraid to say the same thing over and over again, if it's the truth.
It's been a time of shifting, again. And I am finding I myself need to find life in new ways. I need to recognize the beauty around me and keep living it to the full, even if I don't always get to do what I want or recognize that I don't always get to do the next exciting thing. Knowing that sometimes He calls us to things that need time to take shape. I appreciate your prayers. Jesus is midwifing my dreams and desires too, and it'll take a lot of patience and growing pains.
Sometimes I wish I was better at being intentional. With the person in front of me.Thinking less about me, more about them. Putting aside my wishes for my time and day. Loving. Having a conversation instead of being in a hurry. Letting interruptions occur, because they're far more important. Somehow I think there was more to Jesus' statement to "Come, follow me." It was an interruption to all that life used to be, but I think that it's something that we should daily listen for. Moment by moment. I get so caught up in my desire for sleep, or momentary fun, or it just not going with the plan, and I don't come. I don't follow. I think life with Jesus is supposed to be less about a one time commitment, and more about an every day re-committal.
And the great part is, the more I do it, the more it becomes normal. I get by with two and a half hours of sleep, and I sleep for 12 hours the next night. I expect it, and don't forget to take my phone off vibrate nearly as often. But I've also realized other things: this week I got to attend a friend's birth, not as a 'professional', not with a job to do, just to be there. And I loved it with everything I am. I got to hold a hand, I remembered to pray, emotionally connect. I didn't have to have a never-ending task list going through my mind or to analyze the situation. I got to be with woman(the meaning of midwife), and was reminded that this is what it's supposed to be. Not that those other things don't have a place, but they don't always have a place.
Sometimes we do things, and forget to actually connect. Sometimes we make things(or people) projects, and it becomes work, sometimes we forget how important just being there really is. Sometimes we forget to be with people or don't hear the call when Jesus says "come," I have something really important for us today. Sometimes it's like I've forgotten and fallen asleep with my life on vibrate. Or don't actually take much joy in the fact that He's calling, because I've got lost in my own priorities and have forgotten my commitments- that was my choice to make.
It's exciting to watch life come forth, and I want to be able to see life come forth from people's lives- that's just as exciting. But I won't get to be a part of that if I'm not intentional to get involved, be interrupted, lose some sleep, be a disciple that is listening to God's voice, or the voice of those He has smothered with grace and just need a little help.
On another note worth mentioning: Labor, like people, are always unique. Sometimes things don't go like you thought or hoped, and we need to be able to shift along with that. It's not our job to put them in a box. We need to be there when the plan changes, or when it takes more time than we thought, and our expectations can actually make us frustrated. Throw those out. Keep pressing on. Drink more coffee. Pray more. And don't be afraid to say the same thing over and over again, if it's the truth.
It's been a time of shifting, again. And I am finding I myself need to find life in new ways. I need to recognize the beauty around me and keep living it to the full, even if I don't always get to do what I want or recognize that I don't always get to do the next exciting thing. Knowing that sometimes He calls us to things that need time to take shape. I appreciate your prayers. Jesus is midwifing my dreams and desires too, and it'll take a lot of patience and growing pains.
Comments
Post a Comment