Surprise Me

After weekend plans that last minute changed. I slept in, looked at the clock and rolled aver again hoping for just a little more shut eye. I couldn't remember the last day I had gotten 8 hours of sleep. Trying to push away the thought that I was going hiking and hadn't any plan for that yet, opting to stick closer to home (due to the late start). I caught what I thought to be a gentle whisper from Jesus, I have a surprise for you. I don't like surprises so much as I love spontaneity. And this was surely that.

I started out for a the calling of a mountain...yet ended up on back roads only to find out that this road that I was on once went to where I wanted to be, yet now was gated up claiming that the property beyond was now private and access denied. I thought maybe, just maybe, there might be another route, to no avail. And then I got a little frustrated. A surprise?! This isn't exactly what I had in mind. This isn't working out. But then I turned off google maps and just drove. Towards the hills to see what could be found. Low and behold, I came upon a walking path not on any map or search I had seen. Including the most serene resting spot with train trestle across the creek.

Later, as I was thinking about the day, I could again just sense that gentle whisper, are you willing to let me surprise you? Had I positioned myself in way that could be surprised? Had I kept taking it in my own hands? Then there was the frustration. Oh, I was frustrated when all my roads weren't leading to where I wanted them to. But that frustration came right before things were turning out really good, I just couldn't see it yet. Guys, in most places in life I'm probably really not willing to LET Him surprise me. Sometimes I stick with my own plans. Or get frustrated when things aren't turning out. Or am not willing to completely trust that He really probably does have the best plan, but it's just around the bend.

I'm independent and maybe often don't want to let.  I have to be vulnerable? To be helped? That somehow it means I'm giving up some random part of myself? Maybe I'm just struggling with pride and keeping it all out. If I'm not letting you love me, it doesn't make me any better. If I'm not letting Jesus surprise me, I'm missing out. He want to show up with wildflowers in hand to fill my heart up, and I'm just not committing to join Him. Somehow I think I have some better idea of what exactly it should look like. Perhaps I'm actually just running away instead of towards. A surprise isn't a surprise, unless it's just that. Just please show up ready for what could come.