Growth

“Where there's water, there's growth." It's been a while since I just sat with the Lord and asked Him what He was trying to teach me. This is what I got as I looked into the banana leaves and jungle-like vines hanging from the palm trees. My first Hawaiian morning I read John 15 in which it talks of abiding in Him. We are the vine, He the branches. This scene gave a new picture of that. We cling to Him as we grow. 

My hair is a testimony to the humidity, the lush green, a testimony to the fact that this place gets plenty of water and lots of warmth. He leads us along green pastures and quiet waters to restore our soul. He knows what's best for us. I have found it interesting that while I'm here I've had a hard time doing nothing. Maybe I'm not very good at quiet waters and green pastures. Yet, hasn't He always known that that is where we need to drink from? My word for this year is savor and I've realized my flesh kinda fights it. If I'm doing just what I need to be doing today, then isn't that just what I should be doing? I want to dwell in the uncomfortable reality that I don't always need to be doing something. Because He doesn't need me, He loves me. And that's where I'm meant to dwell. I have this honor bestowed on me that I get to love those around me, and then we get to go and do it together.  As a friend texted me "don't feel guilty about just enjoying Jesus' presence." But maybe at times I do. And how wrong I've been. 

As the Good Shepherd leads His sheep out to pasture, He leads me to the water. He tends me in His kindness, watches over me in His goodness, and pulls for my growth and flourishing like the jungle and magical waterfall valleys I've walked through. The air is fresh and warm and the birds are twittering here and there is great joy to be found as I take it all in. In the book Nothing to Prove this phrase caught my heart and maybe it will yours: "The mundane parts of life aren't the enemy to God's movement; they are the soil for it."  

Even the Bible has something to say about soil. And I know pretty well the seeds that get watered, grow. What seeds am I leaving out to get watered, or better, am I seeking out water to grow? And have you seen the size of some these plants over here?! Talk about jurassic park growth. He wants to be the fountain of life. Come and keep coming, ask and keep asking. Drink deep, treasure hard. I want to be found there. Growing in grace. 

Now, that sounds nice. But it ain’t always easy. There’s the term growing pains for a reason. I’ve been under spiritual attack this week. I’ve felt like my heart was ripped out and put back in. I’ve been challenged in my thinking. And once again had this thought, “I don’t want to miss out.” I don’t want to miss out on what Jesus is doing, I don’t want to miss out on loving my neighbor, I don’t want to miss out on blessing strangers...but it’s just dawned on me, I don’t want to miss out on me. He is the essence of my existence. Again, not about what I’m doing, but about who I’m becoming. He is who I’m supposed to look like, resemble, he made me exactly as I was supposed to be. He planted me, is watering me, knowing exactly what I’m supposed to grow up into. Trimming, pruning, He does it all. But Jesus alone is our true wellspring. There’s things that will try to tell us they’ll satisfy, but won’t fulfill. 

Folks. It ain’t all fun and games. But sometimes it is! If you know anything that’s true about Hannah Swan, it’s that I have an impossible itch for adventure seeking, ridiculous joy, and checking off just that. I made a very brief list of “to do’s” in Hawaii. They weren’t really important, just seemed like if you went to the Big Island, you really aught to do them. And I’ve checked every one of them off(except help deliver that precious  baby that’s keeping us all waiting)! The last one was ridiculous. Everyone else would have just shook their head at me. It wasn’t as planned. It wasn’t what I had in mind when I wrote it down. But it happened, and it might just be one of my favorite memories now, and that’s saying a lot. But I had to make it happen. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise. It gave me the right kind of enthusiasm I needed. To go and do more with my normal days, not out of necessity, but out of joy. Maybe God has His own list up there that He’s just equally excited about when we check it off, when we get to do it together. WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE THE BEST??! Hahah. Maybe it’s that way, maybe it isn’t. But I know that I don’t have to miss out on who He’s making me into. Where there’s water, there’s growth.