Not Outdated, but Why?

 

There’s so many things considered old fashioned these days, that really aren’t that old. Up to this point I’ve had access to at least a little bit of Wi-Fi most places I’ve lived, but we recently moved into our own place and I used up all my allotted data for the month. No google???! So when I wanted to cook something at home, I had to reach for an actual print on the page cook book! No google or Pinterest here. It got me thinking that this used to be relatively common, even within the last few years, but along came the vast amount of recipes you could find and compare and analyze side by side and I never have to pull out old grandmas recipe or a classic anymore- because you could flip through internet pages instead of book pages. Now I’m not out to say that one is better than another, just that it actually felt kind of fun(after the annoyance that I couldn’t use my phone) to riffle through aged pages. I guess there still is a place for the printed books on the shelf. 

But maybe we do get swept up in a few other things and if we’re not careful find ourselves feeling like they’re outdated as well. Our lives and culture are so fast paced these days, I feel like I’m often finding out the little things that I do people could question, “you still do/wear/sleep/eat_______ that way???” You fill in the blank. Like I feel that I finally catch up to have a few decently trendy clothes and BAM, no one is rolling that pant leg two cuffs up anymore. Right? But we must be careful. You know that old saying, don’t throw out the baby with the bath water? I think many parts of life are like that. Maybe it is time to move on and do some things more efficiently or different. But sometimes, I think just because everyone else is doing something differently, doesn’t always mean its the right way to do it. Now, now, before you stop reading because you can hear your mom saying, “if everyone was walking off a cliff, does that mean you would too?”….but that kind of is what I’m saying, haha. 

I think this current generation hasn’t stopped and asked ‘Why’ very often. We kind of simply move along with whatever is the current culture, because we wouldn’t want to be the ones not in the know or left in the dust on the current trends. Do you see it? I get stuck in it too. I’m quick to say, “yeah!” as if that’s the way it should be or in agreement with something, before I ask why was that right (or wrong)? Maybe since I’m newly married, maybe because I’m a midwife and in groups of people who talk about child raising and fertility/infertility/healthy sexuality, because of both those sectors of my life, I’ve thought some about the “purity culture” to which I initially thought yes, that kinda messed some of us up….without asking why. {DISCLAIMER: I’m just going to be straight forward, going forward} Purity culture taught us that sex was bad and that we shouldn’t talk about, want it, desire it, hope for it, etc, etc. Which is an easier way out when talking to middle schoolers and high schoolers than try to tell them that it’s good, but that they can’t have it. I get it. Easier to draw a line and say don’t cross it, than to have a few more grey areas. It was there for a good reason. And something the church was willing to get behind too. But then that went into young adults and newly marrieds, and suddenly no one ever talked about the HEALTHY aspects of that, or the beauty, or the good, or the education, or the just general maybe being willing to have open conversations about it, or the help for those that need it, or….. You see? Maybe we needed purity culture, but we needed authentic purity culture that took time to develop real conversations, to be mentors, sisters, mother figures(or brother, father, friend). But today, we throw it all out. It did us wrong, it’s outdated, done. We need to assimilate why. Sure, I’ve been affected. But I also see so much good. We don’t throw out the baby and the bath water. We need to find better ways of doing it. The right ways of doing it. Instead of not doing it at all. I could go on and on about how I see this all over parts of the church and Christian communities in so many other areas, but I won’t. 

Purity is so, so needed. It’s not outdated no matter how many people tell you. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Purity is wrapped up in that. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have been given the gift of waiting. But there’s also a lot to grapple with. God’s great gifts come with great responsibilities. How to hold that to the reverence that it deserves and yet talk about it in a way that makes it more beautiful at the same time. And a lot of it comes down to TALKING about it. 

I get fired up about a lot of things. But you know what almost all of the subjects that I get most passionate about have in common? They all tend to be that ones that no one wants to talk about. I was in a conversation recently with a few friends talking about what we were passionate about, and I realized that I was passionate about a great many things, but what I was passionate most about, was starting conversations about them. Marriage, sexuality, birth, dating, female health, dispelling lies that our young men and women hear every day, value, identity, depression, health. Here’s the punch line: lets ask why and how and have real conversations with trusted people. Let’s take the good, and figure out how to do it right. Don’t throw it all out, glean from the beauty, press into the awkward, and be that person that shares with the person behind you. I’ll start.