Overwhelming Provision.

Countless times I have wondered, pleaded, doubted.
Prayed, questioned, praised, been overcome.
There's something about Your provision.
Sometimes it leaves me speechless, sometimes it overwhelms.
I'm filled with delight.
I'm left wondering whether to laugh or cry, once again.
I want to fall down at Your feet, or tell the world.
Can I do both? I think yes.
I don't know how one deserves such love, blessing, and all of this.
Why me.
I thank you for the times.
Times I have been handed on, two, three, and five hundred dollars.
Yes, all of that has happened.
Times that it happens over and over again.
During great need and wanted wishes.
For the calls  that give word that "everything is covered."
For shoes, bread, dreams, desires, things I didn't even know I told You.
You like surprises.
Because so do I.
When You touch my life, it is so obvious.
Usually.
Though, sometimes You're a God of mystery, and it takes time.
There really can only be one answer to my bank account.
My Creator loves to bless and provides out of His glorious riches.
Through travels, college, job searches, and no budget plan.
My balance hardly shows a difference.
That doesn't just happen, not happenstance.
Through scholarships, odd-jobs, givers: Your perfect provision plan.
All things come together.
They were never mine to control.
I want to give with the same extravagance that You have given.
I want to live in Your provision.

Y'all, I want to tell you how good my God is. Philippians 4:19 states, "...my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." And that may not mean anything, unless, of course, my Creator knows just what I need and can provide for all of them. He is rich. He is glorious. And He loves to bless, extravagantly. And no, I did not win the lottery, or have keys to a new car, or never have to work another day in my life. BUT. I have been able to look back and see much of God's faithfulness. I have gone, served, worked, and counseled at camps many camps. I have traveled and helped with organizations. My dad, as the only provider of our family has gone without work, we have prayed for bread, been given food, and learned how to stretch the dollar. In my short life I have received calls that "all is paid for", I have gotten scholarships and grants, a grandma who doesn't even give gifts has paid for a term of college. I have made do or gone without, but it's been enough. I have had odd-jobs at just the right time. I have searched for jobs, but never been accepted. People have handed me a hundred or hundreds of dollars for my God-stories in the making. "I" am supposedly paying for insurance, gas, cell phone, college, and life. Yet, wanna know what's crazy? In the last year and a half, my bank account balance has only changed by $228. Only two hundred twenty-eight dollars! If you were to ask me how I pay for things, or where my money comes from. I really don't know. I only make $10 dollars a week. No joke. I have always joked that I don't keep a budget because I don't have enough money(or consistent income, or....) to actually budget. And that's true, partially. I'm partially just lazy too but....my Creator is somethin' else. Guys! my God is big! He is soooo goood. And I got to look back at my bank statements today and see it(yep, took a year and a half). Often times He works in the immediate, but other times He waits, so that I can look back and see His faithfulness. I am overwhelmed. And that's not happenstance. 
How have you seen His provision in your life? I'm sure it's written all over you.