Margins

Margins. The edges or border of something. Where all the notes take place. The thoughts happen. The “aha” moments occur. The border of life, our days, our Bibles, our extra time, our guidelines. I’ve realized once again that I haven’t left enough room in the margins. Both literally and metaphorically. I haven’t left enough time to read and write and process. I’ve filled up my calendar. I’ve come to the place once again when one thing in my day is too much, I don’t know what to do with the feelings, the hard; which means I stuff it back wherever it came from and hope it won’t resurface. This is how I used to handle most of life. And I had learned a few lessons, but ultimately I learned that when I was healthy, I would live life healthy. And that’s huge. 

Health. Rest. Intake. Output. Filled. Whole. My life looked very different this time last year, and I’m both equally grateful for the slow days last year and all that has occurred that my days are now filled with at this point in time. As I reflect, however, I can see that I was in such a healthy place. I was thriving. When a friend asked how to pray for me yesterday, I knew what I really needed was rest: physically, emotionally, spiritually. You know that analogy with the rocks and the sand? When life is out of order, you desperately try to fit the rocks in after the sand, and as much as you manipulate it, it just won’t. BUT if you start with the big stuff, the important things, the rocks, and then the little things, it fits much better. But what about the extra that might just not? Maybe it’s time to get rid of that. Maybe it’s time to instill margin back into your life. And I know for a fact that it’s there. As much as I would like to say, “I just need more time!” That’s not the answer. If I had more time, I’d find just as many things to fill it with. 

I used to be able to say that I was on a journey to wholeness. And I feel like I’ve come a long way- and have strayed a long way. Some things became habit, and well, some things I started becoming less and less intentional and disciplined with. For example, I started out the year running once a week, and did great managing to accomplish that goal for about the first 4 months- and that’s huge! I congratulate myself for that. However, it got hot. I now live in Southern Oregon and I hadn’t quite planned out or anticipated that it would vary from where I used to live. I used to have cool late mornings and evenings. Here, not so much. I lost my streak. It went out the window with the arrival of summer and came to a hard stop. Did I reorder my days? Could I have gotten up ONE day a week earlier? Could I have figured something out? Yes. But I didn’t. Could I do that with a lot of the other things in life that desperately need their place? Yes, but I haven’t. And I know. It’s hard to begin again. It doesn’t feel natural. The same luster isn’t there. But it could be again. I know where I want to be. I know where I’ve been. And it’s despairing trying to start again. But I know it’ll be well worth it. I know that the margins I create will mean that I’m more whole, others are well loved, Jesus glorified, and I’ll have time to dance on the pages. 

A quote that I just heard states, Margin is “the space between our load and our limits.” ― John Mark Comer

We often push it to the limits, but what if we gracefully saw the space we filled, and would thus be filled. Am I living outside of the margins or do I have space in them to function in that space with creativity, enthusiasm, generosity, friendship, etc. because I haven’t filled the pages with squished scrawlings to try to fit it all in. If I thought of it more like that, I probably would have some more serenity, joy, peace, closer walk with Jesus, time to listen and obey, and live more fully alive. Friends, it’s time to reorder my days. Again. And it’s okay to say again. I’ve done it before and now life looks different and I need it again. I’m picking some super practical ways this week to create margin, to fit in the important things, to break sneaky habits.  So when my day or week overflows, I’ll still be filled up.